Who Says Malaysian's English Sucks?

I read this joke before, in Mastika. Just now, I spotted it again in a forum. As I feel this funny, yet meaningful, I am ready to share with my readers.

Who says our English  'teruk' (lousy in Bahasa Malaysia)? Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc...

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS.
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL.
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me. (Excuse me)

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY.
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION.
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) Can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING.
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE.
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER.
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION.
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/ SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen?!  Why like that?! 

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG.
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do?!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY.
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: 'Celaka' you! (Damn you)

*P.S.*

I hope you get it. The "words" including '-lah' etc. are too common for Manglish (Malaysian English) and Singlish (Singaporean English). '-lah' definitely originated from Chinese dialect(s): 啦!

Teachers do not teach us using broken English, but 'pollution' does!